The girl crouched in the corner as the parents were discussed her weight, as if she were not there and had no feelings. The dad said to the mom, take her to the Dr. and get her on a diet. The dad told the girl, I will weigh you every day after school until you lose the weight. The doctor confirmed the girl was fat. The girl hung her head in shame. The doctor gave the mom a photocopy of a 1,000 calorie a day diet. The mom soon lost interest in the food prep and the 12 year old girl was on her own. The dad continued to weigh the girl every day after school, in front of family members. The girl starved all day and waited to eat after weigh in. The girl lost weight every day. The girl became thin. The diet was over. The girl binged. The girl starved, the girl binged and dieted for the rest of her life.
Because of the circumstances in her young life, abuse and control of all kinds, she formed the habits and beliefs that robbed her of her voice, her confidence and self-worth. The girl had difficulty in all areas of her life. She was spaced out, distracted and it was difficult for her to stay present in conversations. It was too painful to live in her own body. As a result, she pushed herself away further and further until she was so detached and repulsed by her body that she could no longer return. The girl truly hated herself and soon it was the roller coaster of punishment and reward with the food.
A RAY OF HOPE….
Freedom from bondage was on the horizon. Things began to change for the girl. She found people out there who could help. The girl began to rise up out of the self-defeating habits.
She learned to take her voice back!
She learned to say NO to people that drained her resources. No longer was she a doormat to the pleasings of others.
The Girl had a new found power! She was loved pushing the envelope, saying exactly how she felt to others. It became fun, for her to stand her own ground and to fight for herself!
Other things began happening. The excess weight began to fall off. No longer did she wish to numb herself with food. She wanted to take care of herself. One day, she was surprised that she no longer liked diet soda! It was a bad habit she couldn’t let go of. But, the food order at the restaurant, came with a free drink and she without hesitation ordered the diet soda. The first taste was so disgusting and revolting, she was shocked! She could taste the artificial bitter taste and wondered how she was so blind that she didn’t notice it before. Another shocker was that she threw it away! Literally wasting it in to the nearest garbage can. The girl would never have thrown out good food or drink in the past. But, she now knew what she truly wanted and filling her body full of garbage was no longer on the list! The girl was falling in love with her body and her soul. She had a new found desire to take care of it as if it were a little child.
Before the girl ate anything, she would ask the question, “What do I really want?” And little by little, the girl began getting in touch with her true desires. Her desires in the past were based upon what others desires were. What she assumed others wanted. Trying to get acceptance in others was her goal.
THAT ALL CHANGED!
In an instant it seemed!
She became more concerned about her own voice and what she wanted. The girl felt bad for herself that she had denied her of feeling important to get taken care of. She really liked the girl, she realized. She made friends with her and amends as well. In the past, the girl, had forgiven all her abusers, but the main abuser of all was herself!
She relived every past memory over and over again. Every time she relived it, she gave it more power, more light, more vividness. She would remember vividly, every dumb, stupid thing she ever did. She belittled and chastised herself with every single memory. It was a trip into hell every time.
IT IS SO DIFFERENT NOW!
The girl forgot to forgive herself! As she learned how to forgive herself, the bitterness toward her body fell away.
The new habits have developed and gotten stronger over time.
She knows what she wants and trusts her body. She eats when she is hungry and stops when she is full. What a concept!
Who would have thought, this was all it takes to be NATURALLY AND NORMALLY SLIM?
When you love yourself, you do not want to put harmful substances into the body. You treat what you love with respect and care. But you can’t treat others well, until you love yourself first.
Getting to that point is not easy.
Old habits die hard.